Michael "Patches" Carcich

There was a time when the groom didn't know Patches. Then there was a pair of broken ribs, a torn up knee and a pool of blood and they've been terrified of letting the other out of their sight ever since.

Justin Booth-Clibborn

The extra brother who subtly taught the groom the art of the inside joke. Get it? Of course you don't.

*Fist bump

Daniel Conkling: Best Man

Best Man. Younger brother to the groom. During their time of cohabitation, they went day-drinking together and got each other's initials tattooed on the other's chest. That very day the groom kissed the bride for the first time. He's kept the best man around ever since.

Jonathan Conkling

Older brother to the groom. Applied the liberal childhood beatings that were necessary to prepare the groom for the rigors of married life. Also the groom's sole companion on many a journey through the mystical lands of their custom created AD&D world-module. They're both now married (or almost so) and finally feel comfortable talking about that fact.

Dean Dipietro

The groom's long time Felix Unger. His Burt. His Chandler. 

Nick Iuviene

Oldest childhood friend. Partner in many failed joint ventures including, but not limited to:

• Artisanal Mud Pie Bakery
• Jewelweed Juice Cold Press Juicery
• A Landscaping Company. At the age of, like, five. We really tried to start a company.

Michael Longo

The groom's most trusted confidant, sage advisor and brilliant conversationalist. A spiritual guide, to no place of any real merit, but a guide nonetheless.

Saisha Grayson-Knoth: MOH

In 2003, Colleen nearly assaulted Sai outside club Filter 14, breathlessly saying, "I like dance and you like dance! I think we should be friends." And so it was. The best of friends since 2003. 

Hosts an annual Birthday Kickball Tournament now in its 11th year, which Dave has managed to lose all but once. 

Lydia Alvarez

Ever composed and put together, Colleen has sought to glean the secret of Lydia's dinner party success and social acumen during their near decade of friendship. Neither dishing of her own confidence, nor revelry loosened lips have garnered any success. She is now hoping that a bridesmaid appointment will do the trick.

Emily Chang Stull

Friendship at first sight when they met during a capella auditions long before 'Pitch Perfect' was even a thing. By a crazy stroke of luck,they spent a year in Beijing together, where they celebrated what has gone down as Colleen's craziest New Year's Eve to date. Big shout out to the Chinese government, who unwittingly hosted the memorable event. 

Heather Childs

They bonded over a mutual love of Broadway-style tap dancing right before freshman year of college .. . It was friendship at first jazz hands.  

Katie Conkling

Baby sister of the Groom and two other boys. Perpetually outnumbered and more than ready to finally have a sister of her own. Even if that sister has spent her entire life as an only child. 

Tiffany Schonbach

Constant confidant and co-conspirator; female half of Coll's best friend duo. OHMYGOD echo chamber. Frequent afterwork walker, trouble amplifier, worry listener, tear-absorbing shoulder bearer and mother of the world's cutest Godson. 

Karen Teng

Former co-habitor/simultaneous landlord in the (in)famous Treehouse during the Double Trouble years. Once bought Colleen a dress just because she thought it would look good on her. It did. Taught Colleen drunk dumplings are better than late night pizza.

Jill Booth-Clibborn: Celebrant

While others scoffed and wondered aloud how long it would take for Dave and Colleen's nascent relationship to implode under the weight of their combined mega-personas, Jill recognized immediately how perfect they were for each other. 

Sunshine Benke: The Best Friend

The Bride and Groom fought bitterly about whose side would get to call her their own. Truth be told she's been an integral part of both the Groom and Bride's lives. Then they realized that she was tall enough to share. 

Joel Schonbach: Director of Music

Longtime friend of the Groom and best guy friend of the Bride. Also their favorite DJ...

***That was the sound of at least two dozen other DJ friends ripping up their invites***

Thanks to this appointment, the wedding hopes to chart somewhere in the UK's Top 20.

Katie Hankinson: Mistress of Ceremonies

The groom first learned of Katie's impressive vocality during an impromptu game of Mafia while aboard a Turkish Gulet on the Aegean Sea during a massive wind storm. That last part really has nothing to do with anything other than wanting you to know that they were at one point on a Turkish Gulet on the Aegean Sea.

Lloyd Alvarez: Usher

The Bride's star student in her inaugural Dad Joke Workshop. Will no doubt have over three unique and "hilarious" puns involving seating. So get ready for that.

Dale Knoth: Usher

The only member of the bridal crew to have actually MET Usher. 

Brian McConnell: Usher

Dave introduced Brian to his wife, Betty, at the famed nightclub, Twilo. They had actually met some weeks before, but he has spread this half truth to anyone who will listen (no one does), and hopes that in marrying Colleen he can finally stop making the barely-a-joke joke.

But he definitely did introduce them.